How To Have A Capsule Wardrobe by Heather Moulson
Online - 17 February 2021
How to Have the Perfect Wardrobe
Let the party dress with a wine stain and
deodorant marks, stay on that wire hanger
to remind you of its glory days,
And that it will never fit you again.
If you must have a cashmere piece – essentially an
overpriced cardi - then avoid hot washes at all costs.
In fact, avoid wearing it altogether.
They only look good on retired movie stars.
A classic trench coat, too warm yet not
warm enough, will look good with anything
Assuming you actually put it on.
Invest in a well-cut pair of trousers –
not those elasticated things you’re wearing now.
Then you can look as bland and invisible as possible.
Stick that flowered Laura Ashley dress on eBay,
because those days have truly gone,
And you’ll need more room for that beige collection.
Have a quick guilty look at those patent leather loafers –
bought only because you could, then
Look away and place the lid back on the shoe box.
Followed by a swift glance at your Mother’s old jumpers,
As you visualise her sitting there, knitting
Like you have done so many other times before.
Then slam the door quickly.
The right wardrobe that will prepare you for nothing.
By Heather Moulson
Look at what is happening at Slagg’s Poetry Café
‘ABOUT TIME’, the 2019 anthology of shortlisted entries from The Roger McGough Poetry Prize. Copies of this Anthology can be purchased for £5 including P&P from Arts Richmond.
How To Have A Capsule Wardrobe